Confessions of a Biological Clock

Hi all. I'm sorry. I have been meaning to write an entry forever. Frankly, other than the student loan debt roundups which I've forgotten to do for a few months, not much is new with me. It wasn't until today that I realized the ONE THING that has been going on in my life I've been reluctant to write about.

Because you're not supposed to talk about it.

It's awkward, personal and bordering on rude in some people's opinions. But I've decided to say it anyway because I thought at least some of my readers would like to know. And because after several years of writing about my life I didn't want to let this blog just die off as I enter a new phase of my life.

I want a baby.

Not just me. My husband does too. We want to create a new person. I told you this would be awkward to talk about. I am trying to get pregnant. Phew, there I said it.

I remember a couple years back, when I was planning my wedding, a commenter remarked on my blog that I was going to "get married, get pregnant and quit my job." As you can imagine I was offended by his remarks. Not only because he was implying I was some sort of Gold Digger, but because he was trying to fit me into a box. The Predictable Female box. Even though I always thought I wanted kids, for someone else to assume I would be having them just because I was getting married hurt.

I was never the type of woman that was anxious to get married. I made my education and then my career a priority. And I am so happy I had an independent life, over a decade of living on my own before marrying DH.

Then during the 18 month engagement we talked a lot about the future. We wanted to have some time as a married couple before starting a family. We wanted to travel, enjoy each other's company and become financially secure. We set a date that we would start to try.

And then we started trying. And it was exciting and scary all at the same time. I toured a day care (take that rude commenter!) and picked out baby names. Quickly, however, it seemed that something was wrong. Without getting into too many details, it just wasn't happening.

Months go by and I invest in books, a thermometer, over the counter medical supplies, fertility yoga, fertility tea, herbs and vitamins. I drink 96 ounces of water a day. I turn 32. I try acupuncture. I'm still not pregnant.

So that's what's new with me. I wish I had better news. I just wanted to say I always thought the whole concept of a biological clock was silly. I thought women were being pressured by societal norms to reproduce, not nature. Sadly now, I know the truth. There is something going on now that even common sense cannot suppress. I could have anything in the world right now and it wouldn't matter because it's not a baby. Sometimes it's a dark place.

The good news is I have excellent insurance and an appointment to see a specialist in less than a month. I'll keep you posted and I promise to try and resume a more frequent blogging schedule from here on out.

Budget 11/24 - 12/07

Happy (almost) Thanksgiving! I have a lot to be thankful for this year. First and foremost, my job. I was just thinking back over the past two plus years since I started this blog and all the things that have happened.

Right around this time two years ago I was losing my job. And remember that time I wrote about my "rich" parents' Thanksgiving traditions and everyone yelled at me? (Good times)

But then I got a new job with a better salary, soon to be followed by a cost of living increase.

In the midst of all this, I got engaged, moved six months later, and married my excellent husband. We also saved a bunch of money for said wedding and honeymoon.

I paid off an old collections account that had haunted me for years....and I paid off one of my student loans!

Just two weeks ago my sister had a baby, the grandchild for my parents, and I became a proud aunt.

I have a lot to be thankful for, including this paycheck I will now spend:

Starting Balance - $1271

Roth I.R.A. - 500

Perkins Loan - 200

Credit Card - 200

Groceries - 75

Health - 45*

Gift - 100**

Misc. - 151

*This may be higher. I really won't know for a few more days but luckily there's my good old friend the miscellaneous category.

**We have a gift account with enough to buy presents for family but this money is allocated to buy my sweet hubby a present.

Hope everyone has a wonderful and safe holiday!

Where it Went 11/10 - 11/23

Here I am, still haven't left town yet to get on the road to see family for Thanksgiving. In fact, we probably won't get on the road until sometime tonight. I greatly dislike the highways in general, but especially at night before a huge holiday.

But at least it gives me some time to write up a budget review. So here's where my money went the last two weeks compared to the budget I set for it:

Projected/Actual

Sallie Mae - 407/407
Defaulted Student Loan - 260/260
Sprint - 74/74
Groceries - 150/97
Professional Fee - 155/155
Health - 45/160
Misc. - 180/183
Gifts - 0/50
Clothes - 0/120

Overbudget in a few categories and the health costs will continue to be higher than normal for at least a short time. It's not something I regret, as it costs money to make myself better (and yes I'm being purposely vague for the time being).

I did manage to bring in $47 in additional income the past two weeks which makes up for some of the unbudgeted expenses.

And I held off for the longest time on buying clothes but faced with the upcoming holidays and the Moth Massacre of my sweaters I gave in and bought some new stuff.

That's how the pumpkin pie crumbles. Stay tuned for a new budget post.

Where it Went 12/23 - 1/05

Happy New Year!

Between the holidays and my busy time at work starting up I am crazy busy. Or just crazy. :-)

I do have a lot to say so real quickly:

My fiance got a $2000 bonus at work!
We refinanced the condo mortgage today!
I had a work vent but I think everything is okay.
I spent way too much money over the holidays and I'm just trying to make up for it now.

So...in the meantime here's where my "cash" went over the past two weeks and in a few hours I will deal with everything else.

Projected/Actual

Credit Card - 250/250
Charity - 50/50
Wedding Savings - 500/500

Groceries - 75/0
Christmas - 75/180*
Law School Loan - 54/54
Perkins Loan - 93/93
Misc. - 183/60*

*There's some overlap in these two categories.

My siblings never reimbursed me for a gift I bought for my parents. Who knows if I will see that $100 any time soon.

That's all for now.

Where It Went 1/21 - 2/03

Payday, marvelous payday. I still have a job. I have a husband-to-be. Life is good. Here's where my money went over the past two weeks, compared to the budget I laid out for it.

[Note that this doesn't inclue ANY vacation spending in Lake Tahoe, even though I, in fact, spent $88 while I was away. But this spending was induced by the fact that my parents sent me $100 for the trip. I don't feel guilty about this - they wanted me to drink those expensive apre ski beers, correct? More about my trip to come soon hopefully!]

Budgeted/Actual

Dentist - 25/25
Rent - 725/725
Water - 50/100*
Sprint - 64/64.15
Utilities - 156/151.63
School Loan - 54/54
Groceries - 0/20*
Misc. - 65/48*

*These numbers are a little confusing to calculate. I did pay $100 towards my water debt instead of just $50. That was due to the fact that my husband-to-be gave me $50 towards the shared goal of getting me out of my apartment. I then took the $50 he gave me and used $20 of it on groceries and the other $30 on miscellaneous things which skews the numbers a bit.

Thinking About The Wedding...

I have been engaged for less than a week and already I am intimidated with wedding planning. It's funny because Boyfriend and I already planned our entire hypothetical wedding months ago (before the engagement) and now I am nervous about putting that plan into action....for fear that the offbeat venue won't be available or that our families wouldn't want to travel to our city.

So far our families have been very excited about anything wedding-related. I still feel like it's a little premature to plan something that won't take place for over a year and a half - even though just about everyone else in the wedding industry thinks differently. I guess I'm also still feeling insecure about my job and that's making it hard to think about bouquets and the color of table linens.

I have been doing a lot of research into wedding planning and have decided to prioritize what's important to us for The Big Day since that will guide how we structure our budget. Here's my preliminary list in order of importance:

1. Boyfriend is there
2. Good food
3. Live band
4. Great photographer
   
5. Outdoor cocktail hour

And somewhere at the bottom of the list is "inviting everyone and their mom" as well as things like cake, limousines, bridesmaid dresses, and favors. I would say honeymoon would be at the top of the list but hopefully we can swing that on travel rewards.

If we follow the business model laid out by my parents for my sister's wedding, then Boyfriend and I are on the hook for the band, invitations, flowers, my dress and photography. My estimated budget for these items are as follows:

Band - $1200
Invites - $200
Flowers - $800
My dress - no more than $500
Photography - $2500

Thus, we only need to save up about $5k in the next 1.5 years to have the wedding of our dreams, assuming Mom and Dad pay for the caterer and the church. If not, we're gonna invite everyone to a pig roast in someone's backyard and that will be that.

At the end of the day, while I suspect I will enjoy many aspects of wedding planning, I'm just excited to be spending the rest of my life with Boyfriend!

Budget 12/24-1/06

I hope everyone had a great Christmas! I'll keep this short and sweet and my little Sis is currently sleeping in the room as I type it (Internet withdrawal!) but here's my Budget for the next two weeks, albeit two days late:

Starting Balance = 1160 (a little higher than usual since my Hobby Check hasn't cleared yet)

Hobby - 35
Rent - 725
Water - 50
Utilities - 112 (40 towards Payment Agreement)
School Loan - 40
Sprint - 64
Xmas Present - 25
Groceries - 60
Misc. - 49

I may be getting some Christmas cash from the Rents but nothing is certain yet. I had a very nice Christmas with my family, despite that every time my mom gave me a sweater she said it was for my "new job," never mind the fact that 1) I don't have the job yet and 2) the job in question requires me to wear suits every day. Oh family! But hey, new sweaters!

Won't be back to regular blogging until Sunday but until then Happy Holidays all!

What Does It Mean to Be 'Rich'?

I should have realized that declaring yourself the descendant of "rich" parents would cause a lot of unrest amongst my readers. I think maybe most of you pictured me growing up so poor I had to share a bowl of slop with my ten brothers and sisters in a one room house. Not so true. But was I rich as I so famously declared in this post? Or, more importantly, are my meddling yet charitable parents rich? I'll let you decide that in a bit.


But first, what if you decided my parents were filthy, old money, Bart Bass on Gossip Girls, rich? What would that mean for me? I have about $100 in my bank account right now to last me until next Wednesday. Hardly enough money to buy a drink at The Plaza. And sure I get a couple of handouts once in a while, but if you are interested in trading a father who gives you a hundred dollars a month versus one who lets you make your own relationship decisions, then give me your address and I'll gladly trade with you.

Yet, I live in a low cost of living area so my salary of $43,600 is well above the median household income for my city - $33,000. But I never feel rich because I am paying off so much debt. If and when I move in officially with Boyfriend, our household income will be over $130,000 and we will be statistically speaking quite rich. We probably won't feel rich then either because we will both be saving and paying off debt.

MSN Money did an article today on how to tell if you are rich. Because of the reaction to my post I tried to see if my parents could officially be categorized as "rich." The closest city listed on the chart was New York City, where the average household income is $240,000. My parents live in a suburb of New York City and I don't know how much their income is. My Dad is self-employed and therefore his income varies greatly from year to year. My Mom's salary is public information, as is mine, and it is about $100,000. They also pay about $25,000 a year in property tax. Rental income brings in about $20,000-$30,000. Hypothetically, let's say they make a combined $350,000 a year. This would only make them "rich" in NYC if they had no kids. Yet they have two living at home.

In short, my parents are well off but not crazy OMG rich. You may think differently if you spend time with them. They like nice things and were delighted to throw my sister a 200 person wedding. They belong to a private club and have hired help clean the house, landscape and do home improvement tasks. Growing up I had nannies, yes nannies, but in my Mother's defense, she was getting her Master's Degree at the time.

Yet I worry about my parent's finances. They have taken a huge hit in their retirement accounts with only five years to go before retirement. My little sister is expected to start college in a year and a half and we never qualify for financial aid. Most of my parents' wealth is tied up in real estate that is declining in value and they have expressed no desire to ever leave our mammoth house behind.

Bottom line, no matter how much money my parents have, I'm just as poor as a church mouse and though my Dad is paying $303 a month now towards one of my student loans, there's no chance I will get a $50,000 windfall like Her over at Make Love Not Debt towards paying back my loans. But stick with me and I will pay back my student loans (largely) by myself. Probably then I'll have to start a new blog about how "rich" I am.

What about you guys? Anyone else rich on paper but not in reality?

Free Christmas Cards!

I got five free Christmas cards in the mail yesterday. I have never sent Christmas cards - as strange as that sounds - because I see almost all of my family over the holidays. I guess you're still supposed to send a card before the holidays but I never do. I don't get that many either. I think the only relative that sends mail addressed to my current apartment is my grandfather.

But since I no longer live at "home" and I'm no longer a student I guess I should send out these cards to the relatives that I don't see on Christmas. (Note: I should probably send them to all my relatives but hey it's only five cards). But maybe I'll pick up some more as I also recieved 18 free holiday-themed address labels.

The cards and labels came from a charity that I don't particuarly have an interest in supporting but it was a good way to get my attention. I won't be donating any money this year to that particular charity but earlier I had decided to incorpoate charitable giving into my Christmas gifts this year. I'll be sharing some ideas later on for inexpensive yet meaningful gifts.

The cost of sending these five cards = $2.10.

Thanksgiving in a Recession: The Redux

Confession: my parents are pretty rich. Not in a "everyone that lives in America is richer than most of the world" rich but "holy crap, that's your house?" rich. For those of you that have been reading this blog for a while you may have already guessed that. Why else would my Dad constantly give me small sums of money so that he could continue to pass judgment on my life? How did I get so awful with money in the first place and end up in this mess? I don't think growing up I ever felt "rich," however, since I was surrounded by equally if not richer folk.

So with that important piece of background information, I bring you my Thanksgiving holiday redux. Boyfriend and I spent our first Thanksgiving together (last year we were dating but he was out of the country). Miles were driven, cats were traumatized, a ten year high school reunion was attended, and the George Washington Bridge was crossed three times in as many days.

This Thanksgiving was the first time I didn't spend the entire holiday with my own family and therefore the first time I realized just how different the holiday can be with other families. As embarrassing as it sounds, I grew incredibly homesick when I realized that there were no mini-quiches, linen napkins, chandeliers and mulled cider. Instead I was treated to folding chairs and homemade pie. Boyfriend and I even went out for dinner on Wednesday with his parents and they made him split the bill! That sort of thing would never happen in my family.

After visiting Boyfriend's parents we visited my family and learned that talking about money is now apparently allowed despite its previous ban in polite conversation. Here is what I learned:

• My mom claims to have lost "hundreds of thousands of dollars" in her retirement accounts. I asked her if she was exaggerating but she insisted she wasn't.
• My sister and her new husband are leaving NYC to live in the suburbs in an apartment owned by my parents for next to nothing. This is quite possibly the only financially responsible move my sister has ever made.
• A friend (age 30) was laid off from her job in the financial sector.
• Another friend (age 31) was laid off from her dot com job, despite spending $35k to get pregnant (it worked!) and now is forced to put her apartment on the market.
• A friend's mother who works for the financial industry has stored $10,000 under her mattress in case of emergencies. This is no joke. She's the richest woman I know and if she's this scared then holy crap!
• My brother works retail and unfortunately they are cutting his hours.
  

So lots of financial gossip was shared over the course of a few days. Being with my family is great and I love them very much but they're very much into proper form and etiquette and I feel bad that Boyfriend has to be on his best behavior around them. They're also quite arrogant - my Dad bragging that while he read somewhere that the average family spends $40 on Thanksgiving dinner, my mother spent $400.

That was my Thanksgiving. My parents warned it would be a "lean Christmas" but I don't believe them. I don't need any presents but I can't imagine my mom not buying tons of things anyway. Sigh.

I Have An Interview - Sorta

I'm trying to stay positive in light of the career jeopardy I face myself in....but it hasn't been easy. If one more person tells me "it's going to work out" I may just lose my mind. How is it going to work out? Is money going to fall from the sky?

I talked to my mother yesterday and told her how concerned I was and she told me not to worry and that her and my father would help me out. When I replied that there are no jobs in my city she said I could always move home. Move home? At 28?! Not bloody likely and completely disregarding my relationship with Boyfriend.

What bothers me most is that I would have definitely saved some emergency expenses had they not forced me to renew my lease in the first place as I already live with Boyfriend in all but the legal sense. I reached out to my Sister and expressed my desire to break my lease and got a judgmental email back so I know that no one will support me if I ultimately make this decision.

Anyhow, I have an interview today. Not a real one but a "let's meet and if the clouds part and there's room in the budget maybe I can hire you" session. With much trepidation, I asked my current Big Big Boss to put in a good word for me and he thankfully obliged. It's a good position - maybe with even a little more money - but the man I'm meeting with already told me on the phone that he would like to hire me to help Big Big Boss out but I should pursue other options as well. How's that for depressing?

Wish me luck and here's a lolcat to cheer me up:

Budget 10/01 - 10-14

Once upon a time there was a girl whose family was so preoccupied with her older sister's wedding that they completely forgot her sixteenth birthday. Nope, we're not talking about Molly Ringwald here. My Little Sister is turning Sweet Sixteen this weekend and I almost totally forgot about it!

Although it's definitely going to through a small wrench in my Extra Paycheck Debt Payoff Plan I need to travel home this weekend to celebrate this momentous occasion. Little Sister and I are very close - she's an amazing kid and I'm so happy to see her growing up into a admirable young woman. Yet blowing out the candles on special occasion means 1) a present and 2) bus fare - things not originally contemplated by my Extra Paycheck Debt Payoff Plan.

I'm such a moron, really. Why can't I think ahead and plan for things that are going to cost money? Ugh! Must resolve to improve on this front.

So here's my Budget for the next two weeks, which may or may not have to be altered due to a potential Out of Town Work Trip:

Starting Balance = 1135

Rent - 725
Utilities - 92 (including 40 towards the Payment Agreement)
Hobby Fee - 70
Travel - 80
Gift - 40
Boyfriend - 50
Groceries - 40
Misc. - 38

And that's how the cookie crumbles. The gift I have tentatively picked out may not cost $40 but I'm leaving myself a cushion there, albeit a small one. My hobby debt is finally paid off so I can begin participating again today (yay!). Boyfriend has been very patient with me but I want to pay him back ASAP. Utility debt getting smaller - will attack that after I pay off the Credit Card. I can usually count on my Dad to give me enough cash to cover one of my bus fares when I leave home but it's not guaranteed. Can't wait to get rid of all the Short Term Debt (which, looking back, was a really bad name choice) so I can start to focus on other debts.

In the meantime, what do sixteen year old girls like? I have a couple ideas but could use more.

Planning to Live in Sin

Every month I write a check out to my Very Expensive Storage Facility, aka my apartment. It's something I try to tell myself to see the "big picture" that despite the fact that I spend the majority of my nights (shocking) at Boyfriend's place, that maintaining my own apartment is neccessary. But it's hard to see the big picture sometimes when it costs you $725 a month. Plus utilities.

When Boyfriend was living in his old apartment moving in with him wasn't something I planned on. The place was way too small and on a sketchy block. We briefly considered renting an apartment together - an idea that lived until I mentioned it to my parents and they had minor heart attacks about the situation. But a few months have gone by, my parents have gotten to know Boyfriend a little better, and goddamnit I'm 28 years old....

I know that moving in with someone can be stressful. But if that's my goal I need to plan for it, right? Besides "officially" sharing his space it will save us both a couple hundred dollars a month. After talking about it with him we agreed to the following terms (compared to my current numbers):

Old/New
Rent - 725/400
Storage - 0/50
TV + Internet - 0/0

I still may decide to pick up half of the cable and Internet but he said not to worry about it. I will rent a storage facility in order to store my bed, desk and a couple other things I won't want to part with (in case - gasp - it doesn't work out).

This plan sounds great, right? Why don't I just sign on the dotted line and get moving? Well, here are the problems:

1. I am locked into a one year lease ending on August 1, 2009.
2. I don't know what my parents will say.
3. I need an Emergency Fund.
4. I need a Scumbag Landlord Fund.
5. I need to pay off my old utilities.

So, alas, the move is not happening any time soon. I want to save up at least enough money to put down a deposit on a new place and first month's rent in case (gasp) the move/relationship does not work out. Based on my current savings of $0, I am about $1500 away from achieving this goal. Ironically, if I didn't have to pay rent every month, saving $1500 would be a snap. Isn't irony a bitch?

Paying off the old utilities is taking an excrutiatingly long time. But there's no interest on the Payment Agreement so it hasn't been my first priority. I hope to have it paid off by Christmas.

I also want to save some money in case my landlord tries to take me to Small Claims Court. He has apparently taken most of his former tenants to Small Claims Court over one matter or another. Yay my first trial! The amount I will aim for is $725 - a month's rent.

Plus an Emergency Fund of $1500. Can it be done?

I hope so. My deadline for the Living in Sin plan is circa June 1, 2009. I will be 29.5 years old and my parents can kiss my butt at that point.

My Sister Got Married and all I Got Was a Brother-in-Law

Remember the Budget? And how I budgeted $50 for unexpected expenses over the course of the weekend? Well, take that $50 and multiply it by 6 and that's the actual amount of UNEXPECTED EXPENSES I encountered this weekend!

Ok, first of all, the wedding was fabulous. Wonderful weather, happy family, romantic time with Boyfriend, yadda yadda yadda. And my financial predictions were right on the money about the things I had planned on paying for ($60 at the beauty salon before I left town; $40 in travel expenses to get to my parent's house).

Then I get to my parent's house and find out the news: they are broke! Brokedy broke broke broke. The wedding and an unexpected plumbing incident a week prior had left them pretty much temporarily insolvent. So out of my sense of guilt and desire to please them I ponied up the $100 I owed my Mom. She was pretty suprised (and pleased) because I don't think she remembered bitching about it in the first place. So I am rid of $100 of debt (yay).

Prior to the wedding I asked my Mom if she was paying for my hair appointments and she said yes. But seeing the situation as it was, I felt obligated to pay for it. So there goes $60 for a wash, cut and a blow dry before the rehearsal dinner (which I must add is twice as expensive as it is in my city) and $15 the next day for my up-do (it was a lot more but my Mom accidentally paid for me and I just paid for the tip). Total hair expenses = $75.

I promised Boyfriend I would buy him a new shirt and tie since he was traveling before the wedding (and I wanted to get something I liked anyway). Went to a discount store and only spent $30. He looked great though!

Here's the real Budget Buster: the day of the wedding, all the bridesmaids and my sister get their makeup done. I told my Mom not to worry and that I would pay for mine. Little did I know it was $75 each!!! Add in my $20 tip and I spent $95 for makeup to be applied to my face by a professional! Never ever again will I be so ripped off. Boys and girls, forget college, become a beautician and make bank!

Total Wedding Weekend Expenses =

about $500 all told. I am officially broke. I called my Landlord this morning and told him I could not pay the rent until September 3rd. which is embarrassing of course but it's only technically one day late and I've been a good tenant for almost 5 years now.

I also paid my utility bill to the tune of $102 (including $40 towards the Payment Agreement) so that I have one less thing to worry about in the next Pay Period.

I am upset that I blew the budget but the wedding was an amazing time. Oh and, remember how I predicted I would pay my mother back at the same time my Dad would give me money? Well it happened and I'm not even really that ashamed about it. I went to say goodbye to my father and he just handed my $100 and said "thank you for all your help this weekend." I got a tip just like the altar boy. Was I the best Maid of Honor ever?

I didn't hesitate to take the money because I know he was worried about covering everything and felt bad when he found out I was spending money right and left (money that he must have instinctively knew I needed for other neccessities). So I now have $100 of cash in my pocket but unfortunately it is not enough to pay the rent on time.

I am working on an Amended Budget to be posted later. Good thing I only have two sisters!

Do I Need to Get Married to Get a Food Mixer?

As I mentioned last week, I took the plunge and purchased my Sister's Wedding present. I've already lamented about the ritualistic nature of wedding gift-giving and how seeing how all the presents my sister has requested from her friends and family turns me off to the idea of marriage in general. But it's my blog so I'm gonna do it again!

For months now, I was planning on purchasing this item from my sister's registry:
A $150 crystal butter dish. I selected it because I wanted to get her the most ostentatious useless thing on the whole registry as a silent protest against her selfish ways. It was still available for purchase early last week, but to my dismay, this close to the wedding, some other relative snapped it up.

And I know how this may look - that I'm jealous. And yeah I am. But mostly out of indignation. Why should she get all this fancy unnecessary stuff when 1) she doesn't even know how to cook and 2) has no room for them in her tiny studio apartment? I guess she envisions a future for herself and her betrothed that features dinners with crystal-covered butter. I just think that it's dumb that people spend all this money on stuff for other people simply because they are getting married.

But in the end, I went with a fancy lasagna pan because recently I cooked lasagna and was upset that my pan was the wrong size (which resulted to there being no noodles on top of the lasagna at all so it was more like a messy cheese/meat/noodle casserole. I could probably really use one of these pans - but alas, I cannot afford one.

Therefore I spent $150 on something that will probably sit in a box in my parent's garage for the next decade. Awesome.


Will I feel differently about the whole gift-giving process if/when my "time" comes along? Who knows? I hope not. Though I really do want a stand mixer. But they cost like $300 and that's before you factor in any of the attachments! And sure, I could start saving for one or try to find a used one or something. But at the rate I'm going marriage seems like the best bet. Sigh.

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

I've been trying to pay off all the "short term debts" I accumulated in order for me to really start saving an Emergency Fund and attacking other debts.

Unfortunately, everywhere I turn there comes a new short term debt. It's very frustrating and despite my efforts to live on a budget (which are going very well I think) I keep on having to budget in unanticipated costs. It's like every two weeks there's a new emergency.

So, I've updated my sidebar to include the following:

Boyfriend Debt - thought this was paid off but it turns out the $300 I owed him was actually $390 due to a misunderstanding - he had deposited the smaller of two checks I gave him when he originally gave me money for my rent. That adds $90 to the total. Plus the $165 I was supposed to pay him back for the expense I was reimbursed for that he put on his credit card. I used it to pay my Sprint bill instead. While I can't exactly say paying Sprint was unanticipated, I just thought they would wait until tomorrow and they might have but in the end, since Boyfriend already paid his credit card bill - and because I'm currently giving him free legal work - I went ahead and sent Sprint two months of payment at once. This brings the grand total I owe Boyfriend to $255.

Mom Debt - a whole new category. Despite pledging to give me money for Sister's Bachellorette Trip, she instead gave me her debit card. I returned it to her and gave her a full accounting of what was paid and offered to pay some of it back. An offer which she declined. Well, in the light of day, I suppose she has changed her mind and has asked for $100 to be refunded. This is fair, I admit, but rather annoying. I feel like dealing with my parents and money is like having two hands that don't talk to the other. In all likelihood I will send my Mom this money the same day my Dad calls and ask me if I need money (which he has not done since I last posted BTW). It bothers me that they are not on the same page but I don't need their money anymore so I will send it to her as soon as I can.

And even worse is I've already done my budget for the next pay period - starting tomorrow- and I can't afford to pay even one red cent to either of these debts. I try really hard not to get discouraged but so it goes.

Budget Buster - Bachelorette Trip

So, it's summer. Wedding Season. Dog Ate my Finances recently posted about the expenses of being a bridesmaid, and I am dealing with the same issue right now. As luck would have it, my Sister is getting hitched. And I have been honored to be chosen as her Maid of Honor.

Now, as you know, it is traditional for brides and their bachelorettes to celebrate the bride's waning days of singledom with a night of debauchery known as a Bachelorette Party. Think tacky t-shirts and wedding veils and a night of dive bar-hopping. Sounds good to me.

Alas, Sister is not the tacky type. Think Charlotte from Sex and the City. Yup. That's Sister to a tee.

So, we decided instead of the traditional plastic cup and tiara affair to embark on a Bachelorette Trip. I won't tell you where we're going but Puff Daddy hangs out there.

I've known this has been coming for a while, but frankly just haven't had the means to budget for it. My parents told me they wanted to help out, which is great, but we haven't discussed particulars yet. So I am leaving town tomorrow with around $280 not already budgeted for. I need to pay:

$225 - hotel

$42 - transportation

$40 - chip in gas money

$50 - approximate fancy dinner + 1/5 Sister's Share

$25 - casual dinner + 1/5 Sister's Share

$20 - Pancake Breakfast + 1/5 Sister's Share

$50 - Alcohol

________

$452 - projected Weekend costs

And THEN, there are the things I have already paid for, including:

Walmart

$5 - Light Up Novelty Rings

$14 - T-Shirt Transfer Paper for craft Project

Party Store

$3 - Bachelorette Party Banner

$3 - Pin the Bowtie on the Bachelor Game

$4.50 - Pink whistles on a chain

Discount Store (from last pay period)

$20 - 5 tote Bags for craft project

$5 - 5 handheld fans

$10 - 5 Pink beach mats

Spencer's Gifts

$13 - Novelty Veil

$4 - Novelty Shot Glasses

_________

Total of Crap Bought for Weekend = 62.50

Grand Total of Weekend (Projected) = 514.50

Now, even though it looks like I have purchased a LOT of crap, I found a couple of ways to save. One is, I made really nice tote bags for all the girls (except me because I actually forgot to count myself, darn!) that look sorta like these:

Except, instead of paying $37 + $7 in personalization costs from theknot.com, I was able to find inexpensive tote bags for $4 each at a discount store. Then I made a design on the computer and printed it out on t-shirt transfer paper. They look pretty great if I do say so myself!

So, alas, I am hoping everything will work out. Her other friends make considerably more than me so maybe they will chip in more for alcohol, dinner, etc, but I can't really count on it. I am looking forward to a fun (if expensive) weekend!

Sallie's Niece to Dad: No I Don't Need Money!

So all but ten minutes after I lamented on the fact that I don't have a lot of money for this weekend, Dad calls. He is a consultant and gets paid infrequently but it's always on a Friday.

Confession: I take money from my Dad.

And before you start saying "Oh lucky you Sallie's Niece, you get free money!" let me tell you it does not come too often, it is not a lot, and there are always STRINGS attached.

String 1: The bank account he uses to send me money is in my hometown, staffed by several girls I went to high school with. Despite the fact that it is probably against SEVERAL laws, they freely tell him how much money is in my account. That is one reason why I transferred my bank two years ago (the other was I got a free Ipod Nano!). When it is low, he lectures me.

String 2: He tells me what to do, where to live, whom to date (well not really) but he's your typical overbearing father type. He knows as long as I continue to accept this money, I will never be free.

String 3: While he loves to just randomly give me money at his leisure, if I ever dare to ASK him for money, I get an hour lecture on how I need a new job, need to move to a new city, etc.

So I told him I was good for now (I think he was shocked to hear it!) BUT that I could use a boost for the upcoming Sister's Bachellorette Weekend (next weekend). This much is true. It's shaping up to be a real Budget Buster. My Mom already promised to help out, but I wanted to cover all my bases.

No free money for me. Must stay within my means this weekend. Wish me luck!

You Can't Hide Forever

So part of becoming fiscally fit I realize is owning up to just how much debt you actually have and who you owe it to. I've known about this old credit card (I mean OLD - back when I was 18 or so) for years. And no, I can't claim Statute of Limitations. And I've been dodging them for way too long. The damage? $3001.95

It irks me because I never even use credit cards and this thing has been haunting me since I spent a semester in Washington D.C. and racked up $1800 in charges. I was paying the minimum for a while but then I moved around and lost track of it. So now the $1800 has ballooned to three thousand.

I DID try settling with the last collection agency this debt was assigned to a few months back but they were so rude and unreasonable that they refused to let me make monthly payments. A couple weeks back I get a "Welcome Letter" from another collection agency. I WAS going to call them back, really! But I just didn't get around to it yet (owing to the fact that I never have any spare money).

Yesterday I get a letter saying something to the effect that if I don't pay, I will be SUED. So, I decided to own up to the debt.

I must say, for collection agents, this company was really really nice. They even congratulated me on owning up to this obligation. I know this is how they make their money but I felt like a real responsible bill-payer for once.

We worked out a deal wherein I will pay 10% of the debt up front ($300) and make monthly payments of $125 for 21 months. Sounds good to me. I am proud that I finally addressed something that I've been too scared to think about for literally years.

The only problem is this $300 is going to totally kill my budget this month. I may have to resort to accepting a handout from my Dad. He offers several times a month and I've been trying so hard to resist him lately because of the "strings" the money comes with (judgement, unwanted advice, etc.) but then again, I really don't want to be poor either.

Weddings and Budgeting

Let me preface this by saying I love my family dearly and am very close to all of them. Now that has been said, I will proceed to rant over the fact that my sister's wedding planning is driving me crazy!!!

Several weekends ago, I (as Maid of Honor) had to endure Bridal Shower #1 (of 2) in which Sister opened up thousands of dollars worth of junk that she 1) does not need and 2) has no room for in her tiny studio apartment.

A little bit about Sister. She does not cook. She hates most food and is afraid of meat. She is profoundly materialistic. She has debt too but never speaks about it. In fact, NO ONE in my family EVER talks about money if they don't have to.

According to her registry, my sister has asked for no fewer than six pots and pans, all over $100 each.

This Williams Sonoma Stainless Steel Saute Pan can sit in my parent's garage indefinitely for only $255!

Not that I'm complaining. I'm not. Not really. It's just hard for me to sit next to her and watch her open all these things when I can't even afford anything to cook most of the time, much less stainless steel pots to cook them in. I even had to borrow money to take the bus to the shower!

And yet she sits there like a queen.

My Mom says when I get married the same thing will happen for me. I keep telling her that I will not, under any circumstances, request that my friends and family spend $255 on a PAN for me. She disagrees. I told her I don't value things like that. She just shakes her head. It's so frustrating and I'm beginning to be turned off by the ritualistic nature of marriage itself these days.

Not to mention.....my parents are spending in excess of $25k for the single event.

Yes that's right. Twenty five thousand dollars is my conservative estimate of that they will be dishing out the day my thirty year old sister marches down the aisle.

On top of the rather extravagant Engagement Party my parents threw for her last summer, with a bill they revealed to me as over $5k. No expenses were spared - D.J., tent, food, bar. And that doesn't factor in the expenses they incurred getting our house ready for the party - they painted and landscaped and repaved the driveway!

All in all (minus gifts), they will be spending over $30k on my sister this year. And they are NOT rich people. Do you know what I could do with $30k?