For months now, I was planning on purchasing this item from my sister's registry:
A $150 crystal butter dish. I selected it because I wanted to get her the most ostentatious useless thing on the whole registry as a silent protest against her selfish ways. It was still available for purchase early last week, but to my dismay, this close to the wedding, some other relative snapped it up.And I know how this may look - that I'm jealous. And yeah I am. But mostly out of indignation. Why should she get all this fancy unnecessary stuff when 1) she doesn't even know how to cook and 2) has no room for them in her tiny studio apartment? I guess she envisions a future for herself and her betrothed that features dinners with crystal-covered butter. I just think that it's dumb that people spend all this money on stuff for other people simply because they are getting married.
But in the end, I went with a fancy lasagna pan because recently I cooked lasagna and was upset that my pan was the wrong size (which resulted to there being no noodles on top of the lasagna at all so it was more like a messy cheese/meat/noodle casserole. I could probably really use one of these pans - but alas, I cannot afford one.
Therefore I spent $150 on something that will probably sit in a box in my parent's garage for the next decade. Awesome.
Will I feel differently about the whole gift-giving process if/when my "time" comes along? Who knows? I hope not. Though I really do want a stand mixer. But they cost like $300 and that's before you factor in any of the attachments! And sure, I could start saving for one or try to find a used one or something. But at the rate I'm going marriage seems like the best bet. Sigh.
15 comments:
after going through a few friends' wedding registry, I joked with my boyfriend that we should get married so we can get a fancy kitchenaid stand mixer.
It does seem that some things that end up on registries are just ostentatious, and only the rich relatives (if you have them) are going to buy them. I guess the good thing is that if people don't buy you the presents on the registry, you can sometimes buy it for yourself at a discount after your wedding (depending on the store).
I have friends who registered for 12 sets of dinnerware, wine glasses, etc. etc. I wondered whether they register for this stuff believing that they will actually entertain guests with their fancy dinnerware? Puh-lease! Every time I've been to their home, they've served me food on paper plates or corningware stuff. Or... maybe I'm just not considered a fancy enough friend. Hmmmm....
It's funny to see the different attitudes towards wedding gift lists. Some people find them practical, as they don't want to get the couple something they don't want/need; while others find them rude and offensive. As a soon-to-be-bride we have decided against a gift list, so that if people want to get us something it will be something they WANT to give us, not something we've asked for. Why didn't you give your sister something that you wanted to give her, something not off the list? I don't think guests are restricted to only giving gifts off the list - isn't it just there as a guide?
She has made it explicitly clear not to get her anything not on the registry - by mocking those who dared behind their backs. She's kind of a brat. Sigh. Besides, she lives in a tiny apartment and doesn't have room for much.
I wish I had thought to register for a kitchenaide mixer!
My husband and I decided not to get and china, crystal, or silver. We don't have the storage space for it and no one uses it. My sister's is still all at my parent's home taking up their closet space, since her house doesn't have room either.
I don't think getting married means you need to go insane with ridiculous things you don't need. We registered for things like towels and bedding- we had this stuff already from college, but we upgraded it a bit, and everyday kitchen dishes (I let my roommate have mine after college, and DH's were 20 years old from his parents).
A $150 butter dish is insane, our butter comes out of a gladware container- even on fancy holidays.
Ah, wedding registries. Just one more of the things I skipped. :) I have to admit, all the hand-me-down kitchen stuff we got from my parents works just fine. My Mom did buy us a new set of dishes, pretty, plain square brown ones. (Come on, square bowls are just plain cool.) I hate to admit it, but they haven't been used once in the year and a half we've had them. I have no idea why, either... Sigh.
Most people ought to be asking for money to help pay for the weddings themselves, the prices some couples pay are ridiculous... It cost my husband and I less than $100 to actually get married, and we spent maybe another $400 or $500 on wedding rings. The real kicker is when we can sit back and laugh when people spend $30k+ on a wedding and get divorced less than a year afterwards. :) (It's been almost a year and a half for us and things are just fine! No debt included!)
Ugh, my sister's wedding registry drove me nuts for all the same reasons. I ended up buying them four things from it that I thought would be most useful and appropriate for their tiny apartment. But I drew the line at the fancy pillows that cost more than $100 each.
And for the record, when I got married (at City Hall, with a small party at a restaurant after), I explicitly said NO GIFTS and invited people to donate to charity instead. As if I needed more stuff!
My fave is that I have friends who got married last year and only registered at REI for things like climbing gear, backpacks, water bottles, tents, etc. It actually was fun to pick it out b/c they're really adventurous and I could picture them out in the world somewhere using the gift. Much more pleasant.
Just wanted to let you know that I love your blog. It reminds me of me after college and before marriage and kid... I remember wanting a mixer and finally my grandma gave me hers (it was avocado green and 20 years old) but boy was I excited! Two years ago my husband bought me a new one (cobalt blue and beautiful) for Christmas, but I used Grandma's for years! Also, wanted to let you know that you inspired me to quit smoking. It's been 12 days and I'm doing great!
Liz, Seattle WA
You've been nominated for an award here:
http://beachgirlsbudgetblog.blogspot.com/2008/08/blog-award.html
Wow, thanks Liz, what a great complement. Keep it up, we both can do it!
Hmmm - have you tried going on to freecycle (freecycle.org) to see if someone's giving away a mixer? I have a friend who got a bread maker and an espresso machine off freecycle, and I got a clothes dryer, so you never know.
Good point - I do freecycle but since I don't really need a mixer I don't think I would ask for one. It is an idea though, thanks!
My folks got their KitchenAid at the "Goodwill dump" as my dad calls it (the end of the line Goodwill where everything ends up.) They probably paid 49c a pound for it. Works perfect.
After the lasagna pan ends up in your parents house go borrow it for a while. Leave a note in the box telling her you have it and when she's ready for it you'll bring it over filled with lasagna. Sounds like she'd never notice. You might have it for a long time.
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